I Like My Coffee Strong
by Long Lost Letter
Summary: Clint and Natasha enjoying their coffee
1. Chapter 1

Natasha drummed her fingers quietly against the old wooden table in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s safe house outside of Paris. She was staring intently at the case file she had propped against her knee and took a sip of the coffee she had purchased earlier in a café. Her partner, Clint Barton, was sitting across from her, lazily sipping on his own coffee while his eyes skimmed over his own case file. Tired of reading, Natasha let her mind wander to the "what if's" in her life, a topic that often invaded her thoughts. What if I had never been trained to kill? What if I had never been brought to the Red Room? What if I had a normal life with a white picket fence, two kids, a dog and a loving husband? These thoughts of normality swirled in her head, but she quickly forgot about them, knowing that they were also the impossible in her life. She then let her mind wander to her partner of three years. He was the only person who really knew her, she trusted him, and he trusted her; that alone said a lot about their relationship. Both assassins had built walls around their personnel lives and feelings so high and so strong that a bomb couldn't break them down. Now they were sitting leisurely in a small, poorly furnished apartment outside of Paris, sipping coffee and reading. The epitome of happiness to most couples... but of course most couple's would be reading a good novel, or classic, not case files on how to infiltrate the mansion of an international drug lord. The setting was just real enough to remind Natasha how terribly and painfully fake it was, but Natasha couldn't dwell on the fact that it was all fake, that would made her weak, it made her vulnerable, all bad things in her line of work. All of the sudden, Natasha was pulled from her quiet contemplation by the sound of someone choking and gagging. Clint was spewing his coffee across the room, making it very difficult for Natasha to suppress her laughter. "Good grief Barton, what happened to you?" Natasha asked, not bothering to hide her amusement. When Clint finally caught his breath, his face was red and his eyes were watering from his continual coughing. "What the heck is in your coffee?" Clint asked in a strangled voice. Natasha gave him a confused look when suddenly, she burst out laughing, realizing that Clint had drank her coffee. When she finally quit laughing Clint repeated his question again," What the heck is in your coffee? That's the worst coffee I've ever had, and S.H.I.E.L.D's coffee taste like crap" Smiling, Natasha replied " Actually, I think you mean what's not in my coffee. Unlike you, I drink my coffee black, without three packs of sugar and four creamers. It also has three shots of espresso in it." "It just has three shots of espresso," Clint exclaimed incredulously "really Tasha, you say that like it's perfectly normal. I was almost killed on coffee." "Oh, quit whining and clean up all this coffee" Natasha replied trying her best, but epically failing to give Clint a pointed look. Clint walked into the small kitchen and grabbed a wad of papertowls and started to clean up his mess, when he noticed Natasha sitting on the couch, staring blankly ahead. He had seen that look in her eyes before; it was a mixture of pain, loss, and longing. The mess was quickly forgotten and Clint crossed the room in three large steps and sat down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered quietly in her ear, "Nat, what's wrong? Was it something I said?" "It's nothing Clint, just finish cleaning up you mess," Natasha said, desperately trying to keep her voice from cracking. "Hey, I might not be the super spy who claims she can read everyone like an open book, but I am your partner, and I know something's bothering you, so spill." 


	2. Chapter 2

After a long pause Natasha finally broke the silence," Do you ever feel like a chess piece, constantly being moved around against your will?" She didn't wait for a response. "Ever since I was three years old, I've been a pawn in someone else's game of chess, and now I'm free from the Red Room and I don't know what I am or even who I am. All those dreams I had as a child were taken away from me, and when I finally have the opportunity to be normal, to live a regular life, I don't think I can." The last part came out in a strangled whisper as Natasha did everything on her power to not cry. Thoughts were reeling through her mind what am I doing, why am I pouring out my heart to Clint, why? But Natasha knew why, she had been compromised, and now she had to deal with the consequences. Natasha turned to face Clint and looked him straight in the eyes, "What are we doing? Who are we? Our life is basically one cover to another. It's just real enough to remind us how fake it is. It's just a reminder of how weak I am." Clint couldn't take it anymore," Tasha, you are not weak. Heck you are probably the strongest person I know. We may never be normal, but we don't have to be, we don't have to be normal to be happy." "That's just it Clint, there can never be a we." Natasha said, in a low whisper, pain seeping through her voice. She left Clint sitting on the couch, stunned and hurt. Natasha grabbed her tennis shoes and iPod and went running, hoping she could run away from everything that had just happened. That night, Clint and Natasha completed their mission successfully and returned to S.H.I.E.L.D without saying a word. That night, Natasha would make probably the worst decision in her life. She had their partnership terminated, and left that night on a three-month undercover mission. Clint didn't know until the next morning. He never knew why she left, but he would think of her everyday. Nearly a year had passed, and Clint hadn't heard from Natasha since that fateful night when his world came shattering down around him. He was now sitting in the hot New Mexican sun, guarding a hammer. What would Tasha think if she saw me now, Clint chuckled ruefully to him self as he took a sip of his steaming hot black coffee…with three shots of espresso in it. Its not very good, may re-write later 


End file.
